Sup Ninjas!
I really want to stay in Fear, heres a little background to explain where i dissapeared to and for what reasons I am very open about things so lets get the serious explanation out of the way.
I was the EU leader in 08 and well things went well with 30+ active members, 3 Call of Duty 4 Servers and a CSS server, Website and Teamspeak, weekly training and daily clan wars. All was great until I had to release some duties to some officers while I studied during the summer last year and the Officers I appointed brought the EU clan down, as I taught them how to manage the servers on my behalf which was a mistake. They decided they could now run a clan themselfs and two of them split off to make their own clans, taking with them many members. At this point I arrived back from my summer vacation and the clan was down to 6 members. Not going into details but this hurt me personally real bad, as all my free time was put into the EU clan in 08. I just lost all hope in the gaming community at this point other than my best pal killswitch who was loyal till the very end. So I gave up games because, I knew aslong as I was playing games I would try to get involved in leadership and use my skills to rebuild the clan and I did not ever want to be shitted on from a 100 storey building again, by people I called friends feeling utterly betrayed and unappreciated. I lost friends and had friends pulled between friendships with myself and killswitch and the other new clans and there leaders. It was not pleasant to see all what we had built crumble after I had tried very hard to please each and every member whom I treated all very understandingly.
So I closed the EU clan, but kept my tag on and kept to my pledge which was to stay in FEAR till the day I die and fly the flag, dramatic you might think but the name is known throughout the medal of honor and call of duty communities and highly respected despite misfortunes on both sides of the Atlantic it is something I feel I belonged to. This left me not very well off financially as I ended up having to pay the server bills alone so I had to go get a job at that point, I replaced my voluntary online work e.g. the Clan, which was becoming more of a chore than fun towards the end with a job and focused my energy there until I got laid off in the credit crisis. I recieved a concerned email from killswitch as news of my depression had got out into the online community reaching killswitch but It was in my old email which I only checked yesterday.
Well here Iam now sorry for the long story but that is as short as I feel it could have been to for an explanation. I come here to apoligize for leaving the clan to wrot until Damon and Shooter returned to re-create the US Fear, but I needed time to work things out in my life and try change the way I was but I miss my games especially online action shooting games.
I do hope you could consider me to rejoin the clan although I do not wish to be bogged down in leadership or responsibility but Iam willing to lend a hand where it is needed in skills I acquired during leadership as I have learnt many technical skills and people skills in resolving problems and situations. Though I have always feared getting so involved that it takes up all my free time again which is why its been so long and that cannot happen this time as I now have settled down with a partner. But after logging back on the other day, I realised again how much I missed the clan the people and the fun with online gaming and with no job currently while my partner is at work, Iam able to not just play games but lend any general clan support or adminstration as I have OCD I like to organize things which leads to me naturally being pulled into responsibility wherever I have gone online.
Enough of the past now and the depressing shite back there! For those who have sore eyes by now! FAWK IT IM BACK gimme a blimmey hug homies! LOL!
I hope to be seeing you on TF2 and CSS and maybe even back on the old COD4 for those that have it, I never was much of a medal of honor man heh!
Well peace out let me know If Iam able to represent again
and be forgiven for losing faith.